It’s been a long time. I’ve neglected my blog. I’ve been busy living life.
Well, living other people’s lives.
I play a lot of RPGs.
I’m currently playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign with a really cool group of guys, and in this campaign I’m a lawful neutral human noble warrior who is looking to reclaim the glory of her past title.
I have to tell you, as someone whose real life alignment is true neutral at best (and chaotic neutral when I’m NOT behaving, which let’s face it is most of the time), I am having the HARDEST time staying true to my alignment while reaching my goals. But hey, I figure I can follow the laws easier if I make my own, right? Right? So all I need to do is become the ruler of everything, and then being lawful neutral will be much easier.
I’m used to playing a barbarian type character- not a lot of brains or finesse, just muscle. I like being the tank- as anyone who has seen my Versus segments on Naked News can tell you, I’m kind of a weakling and a giant klutz, so I like being the big scary muscle. Give me a comically oversized weapon, point me in the direction of my enemies, and let me hack at things. That’s how I roll. (Well, actually, natural 20s is how I roll. Not to brag or anything.) My character in this game, though, is charming and influential, and I’ve been using that to my advantage. I made a risky move when, instead of sneaking into a goblin-infested castle to get to an evil wizard and a mysterious drow causing trouble, I infiltrated it using my cunning and charm. After the inevitable massacre was done, we killed the king of the goblins, stole his crown, and then I convinced the remaining goblins left alive to join me.
That’s right. I AM THE MOTHEREFFING GOBLIN QUEEN.
I HAVE A HORDE NOW.
I plan to grow my army, forge alliances between all the races (even goblins and orcs), and become Overlady Of the Entire Fucking World.
…Lawfully, of course.
And I’ll only torture when I absolutely need to.